.Editor's Details: The complying with is actually the message of a character coming from Exploration Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reassessing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created significantly regarding specifics of the goal throughout the month I have actually been actually listed below, generally for 2 reasons: the 1st being actually that there has actually been very little opportunity to perform that type of writing, and secondly because I am actually not exactly sure just how comfy I am actually discussing thoughts I share with friends and family along with the rest of the globe.Effectively, obviously the world changed today. What I claim or carry out is actually really slight reviewed to the implication of what took place to our country today when it was struck by ... by whom? Terrorists is actually all we know, I suspect. Tough to know at whom to point our anger and worry ...I had only ended up a lot of jobs this morning, the most taxing being the physical examinations of all staff participants. In a private conversation complying with that, the air travel plastic surgeon told me they were having a really negative day on the ground. I had no idea ...He explained the situation to me as greatest he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually flabbergasted, then terrified. My first idea was that this had not been a true chat, that I was still listening closely to some of my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply didn't seem possible on this incrustation in our country. I could not also picture the particulars, also prior to the updates of further damage began can be found in.Vladimir visited pretty rapidly, sensing that one thing very severe was actually being covered. I swayed Michael in to the module at the same time. They were likewise surprised and also stunned. After our company authorized off, I made an effort to explain to Vladimir and Michael as ideal I might the prospective measurement of the act of terror in midtown New york as well as at the Government. They clearly understood as well as were actually really compassionate.I eyed the World Map on the computer to view where over the planet our company were and saw that we were coming southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be actually overlooking New England in a couple of moments. I zipped around the station until I located a home window that will give me a view of NYC and also nabbed the closest electronic camera. It took place to become a video camera, as well as I was actually appearing south from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to be to have a strange blossom to it at the bottom of the column that was streaming south of the area. After going through among the news articles our experts merely received, I believe our team were actually considering NY around the moment of, or not long after, the failure of the 2nd tower. How unpleasant ...I swung the video camera the whole time the East Coast to the south to view if I could possibly find some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, but nothing at all showed up.It was actually pretty complicated to think about work after that, though we had some to perform, however on the next orbit our team crossed the United States more south. All three people were operating a couple of cams to make an effort to acquire viewpoints of New york city or Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, but no specific source might be viewed. All of it appeared incredible from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can't visualize the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Besides the psychological effect of our nation being actually attacked and lots of our residents and also maybe some buddies being actually killed, the most frustrating feeling being actually where I am actually is just one of solitude.Following time ... I presume the tiredness and also mental pressure received the very best of me. I couldn't stay awake as well as remain to create. Today was actually still tough, but our experts began acquiring additional details, plus our team had the respect of chatting straight along with the Center Director, Roy Estess, who ensured our team that the ground staffs would certainly remain to operate and ensure our security, in addition to the secure function of the Station. Our team also talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that included that the companions in the System are actually all totally devoted to proceeding safe functions and also help. These were actually never ever concerns for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground teams have actually been actually extremely supporting, really understanding of the influence of the updates, and have made an effort to become as handy as feasible. They have actually all been actually extremely specialist and focused though I can not envision the distraction of the sort of information being available in and the idea that government structures might be vulnerable. They never ever skipped a beat, even when transferring nerve center. And also a team of elderly workers as well as good friends provided our company a pretty comprehensive instruction on what was understood and also what was being actually done in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was incredibly valuable as well as sort of them to perform in the midst of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has likewise been helpful and also helpful, trying to uplink newspaper article when our personal assets were actually unusable, and pointing out kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been wonderful, also. They understand it is actually been actually a tough time for me and also the folks on the ground, and also they've made an effort to become as even keeled and also useful as achievable. Michael also fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. As well as they provide me loads of area to think when I needed it. They are actually really thoughtful as well as obviously outraged at whoever would do this.I know many people in Washington, so many folks who travel to DC and NYC, numerous that are actually aviators, that I experienced sure I will acquire a minimum of a couple of items of bad news over the next couple of times. I obtained the initial one today when I learned that the Captain of the American Airlines jet that reached the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic throughout plebe summer season when our experts resided in the D&B all together, as well as we had considerable amounts of lessons all together. I can't envision what he must of experienced, as well as currently I hear that he may possess climbed even further than we can easily also consider through perhaps stopping his plane from being the one to deal with the White House. What a horrible reduction, yet I'm sure Chic was battling fearlessly throughout. And splits don't flow the exact same precede ...It's difficult to define just how it really feels to become the only American completely off the planet at once including this. The emotion that I ought to be there along with every one of you, taking care of this, helping somehow, is frustrating. I understand that our team are on the limit (or past) of a dreadful change in the background of the world. Several things will definitely never coincide again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the 1000s as well as thousands of individuals straight affected by these horrendous actions of violence, however perhaps for everybody. We will find ourselves really feeling differently concerning loads of factors, including most likely area exploration, however.It's dreadful to observe smoke cigarettes pouring from injuries in your personal country coming from such an excellent vantage point. The duality of performing a spacecraft dedicated to boosting live on the earth and viewing lifestyle being ruined through such unforced, horrendous actions is actually jolting to the psyche, regardless of that you are. And the know-how that everything will definitely be different than when our team released by the opportunity our company land is a little disconcerting. I believe in our nation as well as in our leadership that our team will definitely carry out every thing possible to better defend her and also our loved ones, and also to take compensation wherefore has actually been done. I possess self-confidence that the excellent individuals at NASA will carry out everything essential to continue our purpose properly and return our company securely at the correct time. And I skip all of you quite. I can not be there with you personally, as well as our company have a long way to go to complete our purpose, yet be specific that my soul is with you, as well as understand you reside in my prayers.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final letter ... The good news is, it is actually been actually a hectic full week up listed here. And also to show that, like our country, our team are continuing on our desired path along with service as usual (as high as possible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be actually launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (United States time), it will dock with us, at a port never ever utilized just before on the low point side of the Company Module. This brand new element will certainly give our team one more area to dock an Improvement or even Soyuz and will definitely supply a large airlock with two able to be used hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our team are going to do a few of just before our experts come home.The trouble before in managing recently was actually too little headlines. The complication today is too much. It came all at once when email was recovered, and also there is actually not enough opportunity to read everything! Plus it is actually as well hard to handle all of it at the same time. But I cherish receiving it, and also I actually enjoy the wonderful letters of support as well as companionship I am actually receiving.Our team are actually succeeding aboard, getting our job performed, as well as referring to factors. Final night our experts possessed a lengthy conversation over supper concerning the implication of these events, the achievable actions to adhere to, and also what should be done. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every e-mail he acquired coming from good friends in Russia stated specifically to inform me just how sorry they were that this occurred, prolonging their acknowledgements, and also talking to exactly how I was actually doing. Vladimir educated me the Russian phrase for "acknowledgements" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Urban area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are actually a lot too lengthy to articulate conveniently.) Quite type individuals.For the final two days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to transfer real-time programs of radio information about the event as well as linked tales, to be sure I was actually effectively updated. Every professional who has started the line to talk about a procedure or an issue has at some point stretched introductions to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that because of the wedding of remembrance in the United States, throughout the day folks had actually been actually delivering blossoms and also edging all the wall surfaces of the US consular office in Moscow, as well as this evening they were lighting candlesticks in the street outside the consulate. Exactly how the planet has actually changed.Folks anywhere seem to acknowledge the senselessness and horror within this assault. As well as the significant reduction. Moscow has actually coped with these kind of issues in the final couple of years along with condo as well as train battles, so they are actually as anxious to do away with this risk as our experts are actually. However the bottom series is that there are actually great individuals everywhere who want to stay in tranquility. I read through that a little one talked to, "The United States is therefore good to various other countries, our company always assist every person, how can they despise our company a lot?".I wish the example of collaboration as well as depend on that this space probe and all individuals in the course display daily will someday encourage the rest of the world to function the same way. They must!Sadly, our team will not be actually piloting over the US while individuals are lighting candlesticks. Don't know if our team might view that anyhow. Our team performed, however, observe a very unique as well as lovely view a couple of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz booster. Our experts were actually eclipsing it and it appeared concerning 3 minutes after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunlight attacked our terminal, so it was still in the dark. It looked like a large comet along with a directly, large tail silhouetted versus the darker earth beneath. Despite some bad lighting for a while as the sunshine struck our home window at a reduced perspective, I handled some online video of it as first our experts passed the spacecraft, and then watched it start to catch up as it gained elevation and also velocity. I shot until main engine cutoff and also enhancer splitting up developed just like our experts moved toward sunrise on the Mountain ranges. An extraordinary attraction in a remarkable week ...Life takes place, also precede. Our company are actually here to keep ... Frank.